Wedding Day

I woke up at around 6am on my wedding day, first to a feeling of excitement followed by a slight feeling "ye gods" as I realised the sound I was hearing was rain falling through the evergreens outside my window. By the time I left the house at 7 it was still pouring, and I made the decision to move the reception into my parents church. Considering I had spent the past 20 months planning an outdoor picnic style reception, and had spent the last three weeks organising a bunch of details which centered around that theme, I should have been worried. But to be honest I just couldn't, and didn't, care. Rain was beyond my control, and after the decision was made I just concentrated on praying it would stop in time for my photos.

The morning was made up of rushing slowly through the elaborate process of dressing. I admit to having my only bridal freakout when I realised we were going to be late to the ceremony. I wish that I had been more relaxed, but I really do hate being late and knowing that everyone and everything is waiting for my arrival doesn't help! At least it kept me from thinking too seriously on what was about to come, and I trust my friends & family gave me some leeway as my nerves expressed themselves in this way. Then I was at the church, rushing up the stairs, having my veil put on and the music was starting, and I was just praying that the sound would work, and the first lines of The Wedding Song started and other than a vague appreciation for the music my senses started blurring into one predominant emotion--joy.

The whole day is a blur, with bits of events coming into focus. I loved our wedding ceremony—it was so perfectly us, from the blend of music (folk, latin, & hymns) to the long and somewhat controversial homily (which, for the record, we loved). What more can I say? Our ceremony felt very private and personal. To be honest I did not even really notice our guests until communion. I loved that Paul, Tara's husband, went up for a blessing which sparked most of our non-Catholic guests to go as well. I loved teasing the priest under my breath (he gives as good as he gets). Most of all, I loved whispering to David, and loved how I felt like we were alone.

Photos followed the ceremony, and I am so glad we organised this the way we did so that by the end of the photo sessions it was just us alone with our photographer. We didn't say much, but just basked in the glow of pure joy. It gave us both a chance to relax and just enjoy the moment. Meanwhile our hardworking wedding party was able to eat and rest.

I am a bit odd in that I never really wanted a wedding reception. It was more a notion that people coming from far away needed to eat that prompted me to have one. Because we had to move our reception indoors and I had no idea what to expect I was almost dreading going to the church...but our reception was probably the best surprise of our wedding day. Some very dedicated, wonderful people (Gail, Theo, Paul, Jonathan, my dad and probably others I don't even know about) had been working since 8 that morning to transform my parents' church 'hall' into our reception venue. David and I were both speachless at the beautiful job that was done, because with all our plans for an outdoor reception we really didn't leave anyone much to work with! And, considering that until I converted I had always thought I might get married in that church, it was nice to have my reception there. Arrowsmith still feels like a second home, and it was fitting.

So the bride reluctant to have a reception actually enjoyed hers. We did an open-mike for speeches and were both taken away by all the wonderful things people said about us. We had a beautiful woodsy cake decorated by one of my second-moms, and a lovely first dance (to the Princess Bride theme-song) in the same spot my mum always used to yell at me for dancing in. We got to visit with friends we hadn't seen in a long time, and we had so many people participate in our potluck-feast that there was more food than anyone could possibly eat. We both feel that the relaxed familial atmosphere we wanted was present, and in the end it was more like a giant reunion rather than a wedding reception. For me that was perfect. I felt like I was at home.

***

It's three month's later to the day as I write this up. It was a long road to the ceremony, but looking back that road was only so long because of all the little details we feel are important. In the light of the big day they really didn't matter. I think all the little pieces of planning help more to keep the festive mood alive up to the wedding, because on the day of I hardly noticed anything, and all the thought I had put into little details paled in comparison to the awesomeness of what David and I were doing. This isn't to say that planning isn't important, for those details set the underlaying mood, but I think the levels of stress us brides can push ourselves to are completely unnecessary.

Our wedding was certainly not expensive, nor did we try to create an atmosphere of expense on our limited budget. It was not formal, and it was not planned within an inch of its life. It was what it was—a collection of our family and friends coming together to celebrate and witness the most public declaration of our love & committment that we have ever made.

The End

Hen Party Day

I realise that I am remiss in updating and posting wedding photos. We got our professional pictures and they are all giant, ie between 5-7mb each, so I need to shrink them in order to email or upload. Needless to say that has fallen to the bottom of my priority list. Life in Cambridge is pretty busy, and I spend my days at work on a computer (the joys of working for ecommerce) so...excuses!

I do love my pictures, by the way.

Is it blasphemous to suggest that I now approach the wedding triduum in this segment? Or at least tri-dies.

The Thursday before my wedding dawned bright and clear as Madeleine and I took ourselves into town for confession. We did penance, ran errands, tried to solve the world's problems (actually, we drank starbucks and Madeleine forced me to eat), and then we arrived home to a flurry of cooking and rushing, as in the afternoon we were heading to Nanaimo for my hen party.

As we began our drive to Nanaimo we started a good ol' fashioned hymn-sing in the car. We were in the midst of a rousing chorus of "How Great Thou Art" when the tire on the car in front of us exploded. The seconds after felt like years. I remember feeling an incredible peace in my soul, and crossing myself, and preparing for whatever came next. Fortunately the driver kept his head and managed to pull over, so we parked and checked that he was ok and then were able to keep on driving. After that really startling experience my anxiety fled. Knowing that if things had only been a little different I could have been seriously hurt in a car crash put everything in perspective. Wedding details no longer seemed as important as actually being able to get married on Saturday!

Thus I arrived at my hen-party, held in a beautiful little tea room tucked away on Nanaimo's south side. There were surprise guests (Michaela, over from Vancouver!!!), fun games based on books that I love, delicious food (chicken cheese crepes to die for), huge quantities of tea, and beautiful sexy presents of lingerie. I had such an amazing time, being there with my closest friends and celebrating my upcoming wedding. Tara and Madeleine did such an amazing job and everything was perfectly me. No embarrassing games, no strippers, and nothing to make my stand out *too* much. It was awesome. It was also mucho fun to be opening packages of all kinds of lingerie, although somewhat odd opening it with my mother and mother-in-law in the room!

Following the hen party we made some last minute stops in Nanaimo to get flowers for the bouquets and other bits. Then returned to Port and Tara showed up with two bottles of cider so that we could commence Super Awesome Bridal Getting Stuff Done. We worked hard, we drank a bit, we had The Office playing in the background. At one point in the evening we laughed too hard when my brother had a rather severe hissy-fit because he found a red candy penis candy in my bedroom. We laughed even harder when he had another hissy-fit after discovering I had given the now-damaged candy to my father to eat. It was a good night.

Calm before the Storm

The week before our wedding was very structured, with certain activities for each day and a swiftly ticking countdown. BC Day was my last free day before the wedding, so we spent it out at Taylor Arm, my favorite part of Sproat Lake. It was a lovely day of swimming and hanging out with family and friends.

Then came Tuesday—a flurry of excitement because we were going to pick my best friend, Madeleine, up in Nanaimo. I had not seen her since we said goodbye at the airport in Toronto last August so I was quite excited. We spent a lovely afternoon at Rathtrevor Beach, and then in the evening Maddy, mum & I attempted Dress Try-On One.

Let's just say that mum's knowledge of corsets comes from tv (and watching the dress alterer), so she got me in like a proper Victorian mother would've done to her daughter—much too incredibly tight for modern purposes, however! My body is so disproportianate to my shoulders...I was kind of freaking out, but trying not to, since it took me awhile to realise that the dress was laced too tightly and it wasn't that I'd somehow had a strange body mutation from two weeks previous.

(cannot breathe!)

Following the dress attempt I took Maddy out to Little Bavaria, where we gorged on German food and had a really lovely chat. Then I gave her a tour of Port in the dark and we continued our chat. It was so wonderful to have my best friend around again. Makes me think I should visit Toronto soon.

(we also made a friend at Harbour Quay)

Wednesday was primarily devoted to cooking. The morning started off well, with mum & I meeting the city caretaker and discussing last minute things for the outdoor venue. But after that we had to run errands, and as the time slowly disappeared we both started feeling anxiuos. So I had a meltdown and then we got home and into the good hands of Madeleine, and soon everything was running smoothly. We did our day's work in about 2.5 hours, and what I loved so much about this day was the singing. I caught Madeleine singing to herself as she chopped onions, and without further ado we had a good old fashioned hymn-sing started up in the kitchen. The Mennonite blood in my veins was throbbing, for when else do I feel like more of a Mennonite than when I'm singing as I cook? I also dubbed Maddy an honourary Mennonite. I'd have made her a real one but I suspect she does not harbour anabaptist sympathies.

We finished our work so quickly that mum, Maddy, & I actually managed to sneak away to Sproat Lake for an afternoon swim. I also accidently dragged Madeleine on a 2km walk, but at least we got to see the petroglyphs for our troubles. Then home to a delicious steak dinner, and out again for a meeting with Gail (aka my mum's super amazing awesome friend who practically ran my wedding).

When I went to bed on Wednesday night I was actually feeling calm and confident. By Thursday morning, I was back to being a basket case...

(my brother got all arty with the photos)

Home—Before we say Goodbye

Our whirlwind trip to Canada is now over and we are safely back in the UK. It will take more than a few posts to get caught up on all the wedding prep I did in the weeks before the big day, and to be honest my mind is still processing my wedding day, trying to sort through all the different events and emotions and condense it into an actual memory. I also have almost 800 photos to sort through, and those are just ones from family and friends! David's mum & sisters are all avid photographers so I landed a windfall of photos, which is really great since the day was a blur.

Someone recently asked me, expecting an affirmative answer, if everything for the wedding had gone according to plan. I think I can safely say that almost nothing went according to plan, but we did not let ten million last minute hiccups and changes ruin our lovely day. If anything, the last minute changes really illustrated the amount of support and love people were ready to show us. I was constantly surprised by the different people who stepped forward to help, some revealing talents I didn't know they had!

But that is a tale yet to come. In order not to forget anyone, or anything, the historian in me demands that I walk through the weeks preceding the wedding. The whole time was not one of work, but one of busyness and plenty of play. I know I repeat an earlier post a bit, but deal with it—I had no internet access when I wrote this to double check what I'd written before.

My first Monday back was incredibly busy as mum and I ran over to Victoria for my dress alteration appointment. I don't think I can express how nervous I was about this appointment—I had tried on my dress twice before, and both times it was 3 sizes smaller than the size I had to order, so I was worried that I would not like the actual correct dress. And then the other worry, that the size ordered would not fit! However it required only minor alterations and I was able to pick it up, finished, that afternoon.

First time trying on "The Dress"

*

Second time with "The Dress", and this time with my veil (before mum whitened it)

While the dress was being altered mum & I drove to David's house to pick him up for wedding errands. This also meant opening our first few gifts (exciting!!!), which were all of the pretty servingware variety. I also got to see the lovely handmade guestbook someone had given us, which we loved so much we used it for our reception. Then mum, David & I left the house and went to go get the marriage license.

The trip to get the license was rather hilarious, mostly because I managed to flash the parking lot at the mall while taking off my sweater before going into the insurance office. David takes it as a sign that I just could not wait to marry him...I take it as a sign that my shirt was too big. Regardless, some lucky people got to see my lovely pink bra, and my mum had a nice little laughing fit in the car. Getting the license was also weird, as they were a lot less anal than I thought they'd be. Having to face immigration & visa officers over this past year makes one really conscious of how correct paperwork needs to be, but after all our fuss they didn't even ID us.

Later that afternoon we got lost, twice, trying to find the store where David's tux was being rented (because we couldn't remember which mall it was at). And then there was an incident involving a lot of Arby's in a food court. And then more visiting at David's, and a drive to Duncan to meet his Great Aunt Joyce, before we said goodbye... thus began our two week separation, or longest two weeks of my life :)

Visiting with Aunt Joyce