Things are busy. The best news of late is that I got my plane ticket! I'm going to Victoria today to pick it up, along with my visa and other final pieces of paperwork. I fly out of Vancouver a week from Saturday, and get to London on Sunday morning. I am quite excited, as is David.

I love Skype. In fact I don't remembering being this excited about a computer program ever, except for maybe when I installed Sims II on my computer, or when I installed my first ever computer game (Cosmo!). Being able to talk to David and actually see him is wonderful, as is being able to actually see bits of my apartment.

David joined a rowing team and he signed us up for English folk dance lessons. I'm quite excited, as I've been wanting us to take some kind of dance for a long time. I don't know if this is going to be incorporated into our wedding at all... David had his first rowing meeting today and said that it was a lot harder than one would suppose. It sounds like the social busyness of the first week is winding down and he'll be able to organize his research/lecture schedules and start getting down to his actual work. Tonight he says that there's a formal dinner at Clare College for matriculation. He has to wear his suit AND his college robe. I'm sad that I have to miss it, but there is always next year (and I'm going to Little Bavaria tonight so I figure that is a good consolation prize). I am sad for my boy having to do all these things alone, simply because we actually enjoy being together, but I'm so glad that he's had lots to keep himself occupied with. I promise to post a picture of David in his robes as soon as I can.

I myself have been quite busy running errands in town. I've booked a group of hotel rooms for the wedding (and subsequently discovered that Port is going to be super booked up that weekend for Thunder in the Valley). I've found a place to get my makeup and manicure done. Mum and I think we found the perfect spot for the rehearsal dinner. We made a trip to Dollar Giant to get some stuff to start experimenting with making centerpieces. It's been good.

My twenty sixth birthday has come and gone, although most people who have spent a birthday with me should know by now that I will continue celebrating (and being belligerent) until the last celebration of it, which this year won't happen until I am in England with David. That only stretches it for two weeks tho--last year, or perhaps the year before, I think I hit four weeks. Anyway, I had a lovely birthday celebrating with my family and our friends Cara & Andrew. Presents included two lovely pairs of shoes, an MP3 player that holds most of my music, and a slab of english toffee (that came with a hammer to break the toffee off)! As for my actual birth day, it is the feast of St Francis and, according to Fr Marek, that was the reason for the sun on that day (and all week!). I prefer to take it as a sign of joy over my own birth, but as I said birthday celebrations tend to go to my head and, according to David, encourage belligerence. So St Francis it is.

And on that note, I should get ready for the long day of driving ahead. Off to Victoria!

One gone, one to go.

David is off to England today. More specifically, he's off to San Francisco right now, and then off to Heathrow a little later. Based on his estimations, I expect him to be in Cambridge by 09:30PST tomorrow morning, which I believe will be 17:30 for him. He's expecting an uncomfortable evening, as most of the shops shall be closed and he won't have any bedding or things like that. I'm hoping that he can find a shop to buy these small necessities easily enough.

Although we've been apart for much of September it hasn't felt like it since we've talked on the phone daily. So it's now that I'm grumbly about long distance and low communication. I know I shouldn't complain—it's only a few weeks apart and then we're together again—but I never like it. That said, part of me is very glad that I'll be arriving after when our place is hopefully a little more set up! I'm coming down with a cold anyway, so it's just as well that I'm not traveling.

I didn't make it down to Victoria to see David off because I spent the weekend in Vancouver. We decided that it was more important for me to spend time with family than running down island to say a quick goodbye. While in Vancouver, one of my friends suggested a photo challenge that I am going to try to do. She said that I should take one photo a day while in England and then write about it. While I don't think I'll manage to post daily, I think I'll definitely try this photoblog idea as a way of capturing life over there. This blog is going to be going in a slightly different direction anyway, more of our lives and not just wedding, because I think living in England is a little more interesting than living in Toronto, and my mum actually reads this blog!

As for wedding updates, I think the big wedding things are all done. Some of the smaller things are coming together—I've pretty much picked the bouquet flowers (Holland roses or something similar), thanks to Tara we've found a place for dancing at our reception venue, and I finally sat down and came up with the beginnings of an inspiration board (also thanks to Tara). David and I have been window shopping rings, particularly as my engagement ring is going to be hard to fit. I bought a sh*tload of ribbon at Michaels, and so now I'm coming up with ways of incorporating it into the wedding.

One really special thing that I can cross off my list is my wedding hairpiece. Ever since I found them on Etsy, I thought that wearing a beaded hairvine would suit my perfectly. It's got all the lovely organicness of nature in form, but all the subtle elegance of shiny things in details. What makes it special is that my Aunt the Amazing Jewellery Designer has agreed to make it for me. We went to Michaels to pick colours and go over ideas, and then two hours later she'd already done a small mockup (in fall colours) for me to try...and I LOVE IT. It's perfect! So I'm really, really, really excited to see what she makes for my wedding. And one of my uncles has agreed to be our MC, which is also really special. We're trying to get family and friends involved in this and so I'm really happy that people from two families have already agreed to contribute in those ways.

So here I am, missing David but grateful for each day I'm home. I'm spending my days running errands and shuffling around things in boxes, doing some wedding planning, visiting friends and family, and waiting to leave.

***

Here are some examples of hair vines. I'm definitely not a big tiara type of girl, and I wanted something a little more nature-infused than a rhinestone headband or even a metalwork circlet. These ones are by Chic Allure on Etsy.com:

thoughts on my reactions to life

Yesterday was play-day in Nanaimo with my mum and grandma. That makes today Productive Day, and so far I’ve done things toward settling on travel insurance and finally emailing back one of the employment agencies (an email long, long overdue but there you have it. It wasn’t so much procrastination as insane busyness).

If I’m learning anything right now it’s to not make plans. By which I mean, to steal from The Good Book, to “not worry about tomorrow, for today has enough problems of its own”. Each time it looks like everything is settled and I can relax, there is a new upset. If I spend time trying to run over everything and make sure all is in order, I can easily freak out and live on the edge of stress. So I’m trying very hard to learn how to only focus on the tasks at hand. Learning very hard to set long term goals rather than immediate plans. To have ideas of what I would like, one day, rather than a set in stone plan of how it should be. And hopefully that will keep my sanity, and keep my interest in life active without making it controlling.

I am not really enjoying talking to people right now, other than a few trusted people who I can always count on to say the right thing. Most people and their well-meaning comments just make things worse. I wish, sometimes, that I could have better control of my logic so that my anxiety didn’t peak every time someone, trying to make conversation, suggests a new worry or problem to moving/living in Europe, but I’m not at that point yet. I know I can’t control other people, only my reactions to them, but right now it’s just easier to not talk to people! That said, I haven’t felt like speaking much in general right now. I’m content to just be quiet and listen and watch. I need a break. I only want to hear good and happy things, or other people’s problems that don’t touch on my own.

Not that life is doom and gloom. I’ve been having loads of fun and am starting to feel more rested inside. I’m also looking forward to being in England and traveling around, and to having an apartment. O how I’ve long for an apartment these last three years. More privacy! Not having to live with the quirks of an in-house suite! I’m also excited for the wedding. Can you believe that 2010 is just around the corner? And yesterday I went shopping in Nanaimo and got well stocked up on much needed items...including my new embroidery project—a tablecloth with butterflies and wildflowers on it. I’m almost finished my pillowcases (I should finish them tonight) which are also butterflies and wildflowers. I seem to have adopted a theme.

All in all, I’m turning 26 in a week and a half and I am starting to feel like now I’m reaching adulthood. 25 is supposed to be a milestone “quarter of a century”, but 26 feels over a hill. Not over the hill, but a hill. The little valley between 25-30. So it’s about time I learn to harness my anxiety into productivity instead of procrastination, and learn to enjoy each day for what it brings instead of always looking ahead.

less than 12 hours and counting!

one suitcase full of clothing
one suitcase full of miscellaneous pieces of my life that i don't want to throw out
one bag with my laptop
one backpack with a book and some food

and in 12 hours we'll be in the sky.
*
my dearest, darlingest best friend is escorting us to the airport. David has been teasing me all night about it, which is a sign that he is pleased. And another good friend stayed the weekend, which was lovely. And we spent this afternoon with our new friends from school.

all i have left to do is dishes, cleaning up the last bits of garbage, making lunch for tomorrow, giving the fridge a good wipe and [hopefully finishing my trollope novel]. I don't expect I will sleep more than 3 or 4 hours tonight, but that is alright. I plan to wait for my cookies and ginger ale on the plane and then fall asleep listening to folk music (my mp3 player is loaded with tickawanda, maddy prior, vashti bunyan and mellow candles. and by this time tomorrow evening i'll be sleeping in a tent, or sitting up with my family, enjoying fresher air and the next chapter in my life.

I should add that David's preparations for moving are to copy out notes from as many books as possible from the U of T library so that he can return them tonight and not have to bother with taking them out all over again. SCHOLAR!

a place to live

Today we found out that David did indeed get the couples housing he applied for at Cambridge. Which means that I can actually join him in England, instead of pining away for loss of love in Canada. And this evening we finished packing the last of our "to keep" boxes to be sent back home.

So now I will definitely be planning a wedding on Vancouver Island while living in Cambridge. From one island to another! Thank goodness my mum is so keen to be involved with wedding stuff, because I think she is going to be doing a lot of running around between now and next August.

Less than a year until the wedding too--we are both so excited. Davey has been counting down the days and hopping with excitement. It's quite cute.

And I think this is the outside of our new residence:

c1934. We get a 1 bedroom with a kitchen, sitting area, and bathroom. David is hoping it's one of the ones that also has a study, but we'll see.

moving on

So DHL(?) came yesterday and 25 boxes of ours are slowly making their way west. I am already missing my cookbooks, and I know that David is missing his library, but there we are. We still have the rest of the place to sort through and pack, which I’m not looking forward to, but with a little organization it should be ok.

Looking to the future, I got another evening gown the other day. I got it at work so I was able to use my 50% discount on it, making me quite happy. It’s in pretty good shape and I only need to do a little seam stitching. It’s light green chiffon and has an asymmetrical chiffon wrap on the front that has little clear beads sewn onto it. It’s good quality too—has nice boning in the bust. So instead of taking my black evening gown to Cambridge I will be taking this one. It fits better and is a little more cheerful. I’m thinking of finding a dark green wrap to go with it for when I need to cover my shoulders. I’m quite happy because I wanted to ensure that I had a good formal dress to take as it could come in useful. Besides, with the number of dress clothes David has I have to compete!

We are both really looking forward to being home in just over a month. There is so much wedding stuff to do while we’re back—fortunately I feel on top of what there is to do and have a bit more time now than I did last time I went home (when I was dealing with health problems and term papers the week before). Thanks to my wonderful MoH and our friend Harrison I got an excellent tip on a photographer in Victoria and I’m really looking forward to setting up an appointment to meet with her. We have other photographers to meet with as well, but this woman is a little cheaper than other quotes I’ve seen while still managing to take beautiful photos in the style I want. So I’m really, really looking forward to meeting with her.

On the cake front, mum is now talking about baking our wedding cake herself (and getting a friend of hers who does cake decorating to decorate it). We are still going to go look at other cake options but I’m thinking of going this way, because it will be special and delicious! I was worried it would be too much work for her but she says she has a plan. So if she’s cool with it I’m happy.

I also asked someone to sing at our wedding. We’ll be discussing it more when I’m home, but it looks like a wonderful thing. It’s so great to have talented friends and family whom we can have participate in our day and make it extra special.

I’ve been browsing wedding bands. My e-ring is such a non-traditional setting that it is going to be hard to find something that I can wear with it. This leaves two options—get a ring custom made that fits around it or wear it on my other hand. Not sure what I’m going to do, and I’ll probably go talk to a bunch of different jewellers. I really like the idea of having an antique-style band, probably art deco, or something that incorporates stones and filigree work. I can’t get anything too expensive, of course, so getting a custom ring may be out. David has no idea what he wants, but I’m hoping he gets something fun.

So that is all that. So looking forward to moving, and to going home for a month, and for just getting on with life.