Two Months-ish to go!

Just over two months out from the wedding—YIKES!

Things are, as my mother keeps reminding me, falling into place. There have been some bumps along the way (the latest being having to find a new hairdresser), but after a few mini panic sessions now and then I am able to regain a calm and cool composure. Or something. My mother is amazing, and each time there's a hiccup she finds a solution. It's nice having a mum I can trust—her decision making abilities certainly make this a lot easier.

The invites are finalised and so far, knock on wood, we are on schedule for posting them! I'm not leaving people much time to RSVP, but I figure since we sent out Save the Dates this is fine—the point of not leaving much time is to encourage people to not forget. We'll see how that goes. I think the invites look lovely, and after they get mailed I'll post a pic—very fairytale/woodsy looking, I think. I feel really blessed that David's dad agreed to design them for us. It's very special.

Our Canadian honeymoon (or honeymoon part I) is booked, although my significant other has requested that the location be kept secret. But it will be lovely, and we're both looking forward to it. I say Honeymoon Part I because we are unable to take a long honeymoon since we have to travel back to the UK and get back to work. Part II will consist of traveling about England & Europe over the next 2 years (or at least until we have a kid. Then the honeymoon is over, lol).

Today I went browsing in one of the malls and found the dress I'll be wearing either to the rehearsal dinner OR as a going away dress. I hope to get it next weekend—I just need David to have a look at it...and provide me with his student card for the sweet, sweet 10% discount.

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Life in Cambridge has been quiet of late. David has a writing deadline of Monday this week, followed by a defence mid-June, so our weekends have been fairly quiet. We did spend a lovely Sunday afternoon walking to Fen Ditton with some friends, and we also had a fun late night out with people from my work, but mostly things are just quiet and, at least for me, peaceful. There's currently an English heat-wave (ie: 26-30 outside) and I am pleased to discover that our flat stays nice and cool. The giant fire door on the kitchen is a blessing as well, because it allows me to contain all the cooking heat in one room.

Spring cleaning is off to a good start, and at the rate I'm going I should be done by the start of summer. As we're not entertaining much since everyone is busy with exams, and as we have no guests coming to stay this summer, I feel no need to rush.

Cattle in the Midsummer Common (I think we buy their delicious cow meats from our butcher)

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Cattle on the fens (en route to Fen Ditton)

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David and I outside of the very medieval church of St Mary the Virgin (or something like that)

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View from the lawn of The Plough in Fen Ditton where we stopped for afternoon pints. David rows by here during practice.

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Me + Colleague + Colleague's Husband relaxing at the work Rounders Game on Jesus Green

Shoes!!!!

The wedding shoes have arrived! Or at least the shoes I hope to wear for the wedding have arrived!

When I bought my dress she told me to wear a heel. And these ones have a 4cm (ie: low kitten) heel. Since I can't try my dress on until I'm home in July, I had a discussion with some people who agreed that I might as well buy the shoes, bring 'em to my fitting, and then see if I like how they look. If they don't work I have some options—a really beautiful pair of painted "silk" flats I bought in San Francisco, or going to payless or walmart and picking up a cheap pair of flats for the ceremony.

When I wear these shoes I do not want to take them off. They are so pretty and unique and shoegasmic. There was a worrying moment where it looked like I couldn't do one of them up, as they're all stiff and new at the moment, but after some fiddling I managed, and they are surprisingly comfortable. My feet have never been overly fond of pointy-toed shoes, and the toe part on these is no different, but I plan to break them in and hopefully by the wedding they are fine. At least they don't hurt my ankles, which is the problem I usually experiencing with flats.

Also, in my joy over shoes I totally did not clue in to what my mum told me on the phone—Save the Dates are going out today! Well, probably tomorrow by the time the postman collects, but! I actually feel quite guilty because to save work for my parents I made all these address labels...which then didn't format correctly for printing and my mother retyped them all. And now she and dad seemed to have pulled off an amazing feat of love and gotten all 75 or so labelled and ready for post within two days. Have I mentioned that my parents are amazing?

I also feel slightly terrified that we are now sending out the pre-invites, as in this is actually happening.

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wedding rambles and a bit of christmas chatter

Haven’t done as much wedding stuff as I’d wanted to this past week, namely because I am at one of those “waiting for everyone to get back to me” stages. Also in a “waiting for my job to start” stage, because until then I don’t want to court the idea of things like spending money! We are one step closer to our marriage prep, which is nice—at our church they do it one on one, instead of as a group, so we just need to email the contact name we were given and see if he has time for us. So that is good, and David will be doing that today.

On the Save the Date front, free postcards turned out to be not quite free. Excited as I get about things like that, I like to do my research as I believe that very little in this world is actually free. And although I was willing to brush aside complaints about quality, I read one too many warnings about a semi-legal form of credit card theft to trust my details to the company. So it is back to the drawing board, literally—just waiting for some printers to get back to me with quotes before we decide if our postcards are going to be printed as postcards or printed as photos! And we still need to ask someone to design them... ahem. But as I see it, there’s no great loss without some small gain, and having to rethink options usually leads to a better solution. So other than being annoyed last week that you just can’t trust people, or at least internet businesses, that’s that.

One thing that is a weight off my mind is a veil. There is nothing worse than falling in love with a veil and then having to worry that it won’t work. One of my mum’s friends gave me the very kind gift of her wedding veil. But when we took it down to try on with my dress our consultant was very worried that the veil was ivory and the dress is white. And in the pictures the veil does come out looking very yellow, but as it’s taken under yellow light in a room with yellow walls, we weren’t sure if it was going to be a problem or not. So when it’s sunny, sometime in the spring I guess, mum is going to haul my dress and veil into good light and take a picture or seven so that we can see if the contrast is too great. The reason I’m not stressing, however, is that I just found some veils that are almost as good as the one I love on ebay and the prices are very reasonable. So it is a weight off my mind! And yes, I am girly enough to worry over my veil!

I’ve got a warm fuzzy feeling about getting married, most likely because David and I were talking about actual wedding stuff the other day. It is so nice to get his thoughts on things, because they bring me back down to earth and make me focus on what is really important, and it is just really exciting to know that he is excited and involved in wedding planning, even if he spends most of his time working on his thesis instead of fussing over invites.

Christmas is coming up and I’m starting to look forward to it. The one thing I’m really hoping is that neither of our mothers starts getting all teary about how we’re away from home for Christmas, because that will make it hard again, instead of just a fun experience. I wish we could be home, but I don’t want to focus on what I’m missing and instead just focus on what I’m getting—my first Christmas (ever) with David, a chance for us to start setting our own traditions, and a chance to spend Christmas in another country. It is so magical here already—when we go downtown there are pockets of carollers, lights strung up everywhere, and church bells tolling in the distance. Because the city is so old you really feel caught up in an Olde English Christmas play or something.

I am taking part in carolling and going out with the Saint Vincent DePaul society to sign some carols and hopefully raise some money. It is a good start to the Christmas season! We haven’t done much here yet, for one thing because I refuse to start Christmas decorating until advent, and because until I work we’re not going out to buy superfluous stuff like a tree and decorations. We’ve received one Christmas card already, but it was from Royal Mail advising us of extended post office hours...so I’m hoping we get more than that! I’m not going to do much baking, if any, baking this year as I don’t have an electric mixer or any pans (and the grocery store sells delicious cookies and shortbread and pies). We did get our chocolate advent calendars, however, so the sitting room is a little prepped for December. And that is that!

A somewhat poor quality photo of our advent calendars. David has chosen a retro design, but I went for the brightly-gaudy Cadbury's calendar, because I trusted the chocolate quality more.

on names, mostly

This has been a good week so far. On Monday I got a job! I am not working yet, as I had to have a background check done, so I am spending this week in limbo hoping that everything works out and I can start work soon. Yesterday I had a job interview at a printing company, but the interview only last about 2 minutes (they were dealing with a printing emergency) so I don’t know if that will lead to anything, but is nice to feel like I may have two options. Unfortunately the job I just got may not start for up to two more weeks, which is frustrating. I need money! So I’m praying that all the paperwork for me and the others starting at the same time as me gets here quickly. I haven’t worked since August, and while most of that chunk has been vacation I am at the point where work would almost be welcome, and money would definitely be welcome. So, prayers are appreciated. I, personally, would like to start on Monday or something. Until then I’m enjoying my time off, of course, but as I said it grates on one.

Yesterday I also discovered that we can most likely get our Save the Dates (STDs, get it??) printed for free! I am so thrilled about this, as we are of course trying to save money wherever possible. One thing I should make clear—saving money for me does not mean compromising on what I want. That’s not how I roll. It just means being creative and coming up with something that I like/love equally to other options.

Because of that, and my desire to get all this stuff printed, I’ve been working on the address labels for our invitations. Because we’re having them printed in Canada, they need to be addressed in Canada, and I am too nice to put my poor father to the task of hand-addressing them all. So I figure Miss Manners is rolling over in her grave (is she dead?) because I dare to send out invites with, shock & horrors, printed labels! But then, no doubt, when she sees how these are addressed there will be more grave-rolling and shocks and horrors.

I get so mad when I find myself reading the “proper etiquette for addresses” sites. “If a man and woman live together but are unmarried, the names go in alphabetical order” BUT “if a man and woman are married and have different last names, the woman’s goes first”. Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that if you happen to live with a man, but aren’t married, you don’t really count as far as common politeness of ladies first. PARDON ME. Then, on the flip side, I am also irked by “Mr & Mrs MAN’SNAME Lastname”. Damn male ego.

All that said, I’ve decided to take David’s last name. I’ve given this a lot of thought. I don’t agree with doing tradition for tradition’s sake. If I believed that I’d have never converted! So I gave a lot of thought to the reasons why I’d like to keep my own last name vs taking David’s. My biggest, well only, quibble with his last name is that it is too English! But can you blame me? My own Grandpa with the Scottish last name was someone I never met, never had a chance to know. All the grandparents and great grandparents and relatives I’ve known have been Ukrainian or Mennonite, with Ukrainian or Mennonite traditions. And changing my last name feels like losing the last little bit of instant connection with that tradition. I’m not a practicing Mennonite, I don’t have a particularly foreign first name, but damnit that last name is a connection.

And then I thought some more. Thought about the negative stories I’ve heard about long dead family members. And I thought—no more. This is my statement, long dead relatives, that I am choosing to take my fiancé’s last name, because I am saddened by the stories I’ve heard about you. Maybe they’re coloured by recent bitterness and the passage of time, maybe they’re true. But I state that negative cycles of behaviour are stopping here, and as a sign of that I am changing my name so that you can have no claim on me unless I choose to claim it myself.

I’m proud of my father, and I’m proud that for 26 years I’ve born his last name. I’m proud to be a Mennonite, and I’m proud of the values I learned growing up. There is absolutely no way I would renounce that. But now it’s on my terms. You see, with a little thought all things to do with weddings can take on great significance. This, ladies and gentlemen, is why I am not one to ever think people should get married quickly! There is too much to consider! Everything has significance, and thought must be applied to it.

back on track

I feel myself beginning to plan for the wedding again. It’s only been a month or so where I haven’t wanted to think much about it. You can chalk it up to the stress of moving and settling in and all the ten million little insecurities that come with this. So today I forced myself to sit down and tally up the wedding budget of absolute “must haves”. You know, the things that are actually required in order to get married, instead of the things wanted in order to have a nice wedding. It’s at the point where we need to see if we can actually do this next year even if we save nothing between now and then. And the verdict is...YES!

I’ve made my bare-bones budget. Things that we need, or would be really disappointed not to have, for our wedding. You know, a priest, marriage license (I realise we don’t “need” it, but I think the priest won’t let us get married without it!), rings, photographer, etc. We’re over what we have, but not in an unmanageable way. Then I made my list of things I’d like to have, but don’t need. And these are things that, at least to some extent, I’ll probably end up having by buying them myself at some point. But we’ll see.

One thing I’m mulling over is whether or not I want to carry a bouquet. I’m not really into the whole bouquet idea. My favourite one is actually a cluster of paper butterflies, no flowers at all. That said, I can’t figure out what else to carry, or what else to have my merry maids carry, or if it is necessary aesthetically to have anyone carry anything at all. We’ve already nixed boutonnieres & corsages. Mum and I had talked about doing something with Holland roses and ferns, or one large flower each...but...unsure. Maybe I will have everyone hold a Marian icon! Or rosary! Fortunately this decision can be put off.

We’re having to rethink our invite designs. My original plan was to have velum and mulberry paper. This could still fly, except now we’re thinking of having our invites printed in Canada to save on the international postage. And if we have them printed in Canada, we’re going to go with an image & text design, instead of a textured paper design. I have an idea of what I want, and David thinks he knows someone who can design it for us, so this just might work. The first priority, however, is to do the STDs...

Which is the final bit of news, I suppose. David got the all-clear for our date, and having compiled this last bit of budget the wedding looks set to go. So I’ve decided to try to have my STDs ready to go out by Decemberish. They’ll get lost in the Christmas mail rush I’m sure, but I know some people need to book their vacations in January.

And now I feel like I have a whole bunch of wedding work to do again!
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Later: MY DRESS HAS ARRIVED!!!! My parents are heading down island tomorrow to pick it up! Joy!!!

invites

I've been wasting way too much time this weekend playing around with/stressing over wedding invites. I know that the invites are rather toward the end of my list of things needing to be done--we don't even have a date set--but I've been puzzling over an affordable way of getting what I want. I happen to have expensive tastes, so even in the DIY range it doesn't really save money.

Anyway, trying to find the original paper I wanted to go with for an affordable price was proving quite difficult via the internet. So I spent some time browsing and coming up with various ideas for a similar effect, and then I thought I nailed it. So I was happy. Until I remembered that because we are moving to the UK I either have to order the paper NOW, which I can't justify doing to my credit card, or making my parents do my invites, which I can't justify doing to my parents, or shipping the paper to the UK, which I can't justify to my budget. So I was back to the drawing board. And more internet browsing. And more time wasting--it is pretty clear from the last couple of days that I do not have enough productive things to do... Like I should maybe be packing and getting ready to move, or something simple like cleaning the bathroom... ah procrastination!

To condense what has turned into more time on the internet than I care to admit to, I *think* that I have finally come up with the invite style I want coupled with a price that doesn't break my budget, with supplies that I can get for a decent price in the UK. There has been the creation of word document templates for the sake of measuring how many of _____ I can get out of a sheet of A4 paper. And, hoping that I don't work tomorrow, I am going to walk to the nearby craft store and throw a dollar or two down on making a mockup in similar style to see if I like the result. Also, because I am ripping the general idea off of a craft site, they had a how-to video showing the basics of assembly and now I am super excited about getting to assemble all this stuff.

invites and colours

Wedding plans are coming together, when I force myself to think positive and be excited about it. I've been under so much stress this year that I'm having a really hard time feeling excited about anything unknown/uncertain, and the wedding keeps being pushed off to after x, y, and z in my thoughts. But that doesn't stop me from looking for ideas.

I've had numerous offers for help with diy stuff, which I appreciate but which distance makes it hard to utilize. I've been wondering how to do our invitations. I have ideas, but as usual things that I am attracted to aesthetically don't necessarily feel like me completely, just an aspect of me. One thing that I find underutilized in the invitations I've seen is the use of paper types/digital printing. Because of my background (I guess I can call it that now) in printing, I've been exposed to a variety of paper types and ideas, and I think one thing that will make our invites stand out from the crowd is the use of printing/paper in the diy realm. I wanted to avoid the scrapbook or stamp look because it is too popular. Buying a fancy invite kit is beyond our pricerange, and I considered creating ones that really brought digital printing to the forefront but did not want to put the effort into graphic design, nor do I think that full colour invites will be that cost effective. I'd considered buying parchment cardstock and drawing on there, but parchment was really my first foray into stationary and I feel that my knowledge of paper options has grown since then.

One paper I really like is vellum. Vellum nowadays is not HIDE, but a translucent, almost plasticy feeling, thin paper. What I love about it is the way black writing seems to glow off the page on it. I'm not sure how well, if it all, it will run off inkjet, but printing black on one side at a print shop if need be won't set us back too much. The other day I was browsing in Staples for ideas, and I found something that just screams ME, at least at the moment. It was indian cotton paper with pressed flowers in it as the backing, the text part written on vellum, and the whole thing held together by a ribbon. It resembles this:
http://www.daintree.ie/shopping_admin/product_details/boards.cgi?board=111009035&category=wedding&colour=

I'm think of doing some variation on this. If I can buy the papers myself it will hopefully save some money, although the indian cotton paper gets pricey. I *think* mum and I are going to stop at Michaels on our way to or from Victoria to look at wedding stuffs. We're going to see about putting together a flower mock-up.

I think we've settled on the colours for the wedding: a lightish blue (somewhere between periwinkle, serenity, and cornflower depending on how you seen colours) and yellow accents (like flowers). It should be bright and fun and summery.

That's it for now!